What Kind of Movie Star? - Francesca

So, I came across another winner. He seemed pretty boring, actually...an accountant, kind of shy, quiet...but hey, dinner is dinner. And he was employed and could form sentences, so that was a step up from some recent dates. Kevin wasn't an unattractive guy, either. Not hot, but not hideous...he seemed like a fairly normal middle-of-the-road guy.

I should have known the night was going downhill fast, when, upon my arrival, he thanked me profusely for taking time out of my busy schedule to meet with him. For twenty minutes. It went from kind of nice to pretty annoying quickly. I tried to steer the conversation a bit more...I mean, he is an accountant and shy, so I didn't expect him to be wild and crazy. I knew he had a high chance of falling into the "socially awkward" category.

The evening was bumpy and uncomfortable, and I talked for a majority of the night. I tried to get more information out of him, as I was starting to run out of stories that made me out to be the crazy world traveller. After some prodding, he began to talk about a job he had during college. He had seen some ads for auditions for a film. He figured it was some student film, and thought it would be fun to check out. When he arrived...it was a different kind of film. Of the free Internet site variety. He "acted" in four movies, collected his $1000 and left.

Now, I'm an open person, and accept all types of people and pasts. I wasn't so upset about the fact that I was on a date with a former low-grade porn star...just disappointed he was so boring! I just couldn't bring myself to deal with him after that beer...he ruined my perception of porn stars forever.

Dumber than the Door - Francesca

I met a guy at the usual bar I go to, and he was striking. I mean, really, just totally hot. Shockingly attractive. Sure, for most of our conversations, all he could talk about was his workout regime (he works out three hours a day, seven days a week, and it SHOWS), but I had a movie-like aura wash over me, where I just stared at him and didn't hear anything he said. Sure, he's not a genius, but he also should never have to wear a shirt. We've hung out a few times, so I thought it'd be a nice end to the day to hang out with him after work one day. We'd agreed that he would meet me at my place around 6:30. I was working around my house, and looked up to realize it was 7:30. I gave him a call to see if I'd confused the day we were supposed to meet. Here is the conversation that followed.

Me: Hey, weren't we supposed to hang out tonight?
Josh (yes, I should know better): I tried.
Me: What do you mean?
J: I came by, but couldn't get in.

**I would like to point out here that the following conversation may have been forgivable had he not been to my house three times already. Background information: I live in an apartment building with buzzers to get in**

Me: What do you mean?
J: The door was locked.
Me: Yes, you need a key to get in that door-you were just here last weekend, remember?
J: Well, I knocked, and no one answered.
Me: Yeah, it's a door to the hallway-no one would answer.
J: Oh.
Me: Why didn't you call me? I would have let you in.
J: I totally forgot my phone at the gym
Me: OK...why didn't you go to the front to use the buzzer?
J: You have a buzzer for the building?
Me: It's cool, next time, just bring your phone and call me when you get here.
J: I think I saw you in your apartment when I came, but I didn't know how to get your attention.
Me: Really? I live on the first floor. With windows immediately next to the door you were knocking on. With open windows. Why didn't you call out, or knock on those?
J: Wow...that would have been a good idea. Still want to hang out?
Me: You know what? I'm good now.

Seriously, if you can't make it past the door, there is really nothing that you can offer me. No matter how incredibly hot...so...hot...he is.