We all know my thoughts on younger guys...I'm dying to become a cougar one day, and I do love the company of an adorable young 20-something. So, when I got an email from Ryan, I thought he had potential. He was cute. Plus, his photo was in the Polaroid style, which I just think is fun and cute. He was 23, and seemed pretty funny. I'd talked to him, and hadn't scared him away, either....another bonus. The clincher-he lived in Cape Cod...far enough away to keep it casual, but also-killer place to hang now that summer is coming.
We met up one afternoon in Boston, and had one of the best dates I've ever had. We met for coffee, talked about music, got to know each other a bit, laughed...then walked around the city, got ice cream and went record shopping, where he found me records of all the obscure bands I'd mentioned. Seriously...it was awesome. I was actually pretty excited...and when I started getting the text messages letting me know he was thinking about me...it wasn't creepy, it was cute.
As Ryan and I hung out more, we got to know more about each other...but I noticed he wasn't as key on talking about himself. I started to ask him questions about if he'd been to college, what jobs he'd held...just to get an idea on where this cute guy was coming from, trying to find the faults before I really started to like him. That's when he dropped the bomb on me. I had jokingly asked if he was a felon (not sure how that can be a joke, but at the time it really was)...and he got kind of quiet. He looked at me, and told me that he was at the point where I would stop liking him when he told me about him. Now, I've had some crazy dates, so I felt prepared. He told me that he is currently on probation. For a felony. And he's a sex offender. For having sex knowingly with a 15-year-old when he was 21. Okay...maybe I'm jaded...but I wasn't that disturbed. Yes, I know, not the guy to bring home to the parents, but he was pretty hot...and then he got a bit more interesting. He then went into his obsession with BDSM, and how he really liked me and all he wanted to do was punch me in the face. Hmm...I think we passed the line back there. Thankfully, he lives so far away, and has to keep an early curfew for parole...NEXT!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Keeping it in the family?-Natasha
So, first off i'm sorry that I have contributed in awhile, life has been so crazy that there wasn't much time for dating.
Well, now that it's spring and the flowers have started blooming, I decide it was time to make some room for members of the opposite sex (gay friends excluded) I was convinced by a friend to try Match.com. Needless to say, I was skeptical at first that it would just be the same run of the mill weirdo's as any bar or club, but within a few days I started exhange emails with a few guys. One named Chris that seemed to really have his life together, 33, owned his own electrical company, home, motocycle and car. :) We even had similar interests in music and sports. The other ,was this guy Ricky who seemed like more of the bad boy type. (Which is usually what i'm drawn to) 27 tall ,and working as an electrician, and I thought to myself, "How weird is it that they both are electricians"
After a few conversations with the "badboy" he went MIA for a few days, I just figured that he met someone or lost interest. I began talking to Chris more and more. One night we were on the phone until 2am without any weird awkward silences. The next night it was till 12:30am until my eyes were tearing from laughter and lack of sleep. I decided it was time for us to meet because I never like talking on the phone that much.
Plans were made to hang out the next night. We got dinner and a drink and then decided to go watch a movie at my house,he brought a few with him incase we were both tired (more like in case I decided to sleep with him, and for the record I didn't) We also talked about the usual stuff like, why we decided to try online dating and how long we had been on it. I mentioned I had only been on the site for a few weeks, and that he was the only one I had actully communicated with outside of email, but that I did email back and forth with a few people and exchanged numbers, but they never called.
So, while we were watching the movie we talked even more about life, and personal realtionships i.e. ex's and annoying family members and he mentioned how he had to fire his cousin the day before, because he wasn't doing his work and borrowing money all the time. Apparently his cousin Ricky was spending work time at the bar trying to hit on chicks and Chris found out because his cousin was stupid enough to call him from this place called Kegglers Den... (super dive bar)
Anyway, the next day at work i'm sitting at work when out of the blue I get a text from this random number. The message says "How's work going" I reply "good. you? who is this?" The reply, "I can't complain, work was slow, so I took the week off" "I again reply with "Who is this" the response "Its Ricky Martin" OMFG the light finally comes on. Ricky is Chris' scumbag cousin.
Needless to say I didn't respond to Ricky's text and when I told Chris that one of the other people who messaged me online was his cousin, he mentioned he wasn't surprised because his cousin and him have the same taste, but the situation was really weird. He even emailed me saying that he was done with Match for good... it was just to strange. I agreed, what are the odds that the only people I had a connection with from the stupid site are cousins....
Chris and I hung out one more time, but it was never quite the same, there was always this weird feeling, I almost felt like I cheated or something by talking to Ricky even though, I hadn't even met Chris yet... It was weird.
Note to self-remember to cancel match.com membership
Well, now that it's spring and the flowers have started blooming, I decide it was time to make some room for members of the opposite sex (gay friends excluded) I was convinced by a friend to try Match.com. Needless to say, I was skeptical at first that it would just be the same run of the mill weirdo's as any bar or club, but within a few days I started exhange emails with a few guys. One named Chris that seemed to really have his life together, 33, owned his own electrical company, home, motocycle and car. :) We even had similar interests in music and sports. The other ,was this guy Ricky who seemed like more of the bad boy type. (Which is usually what i'm drawn to) 27 tall ,and working as an electrician, and I thought to myself, "How weird is it that they both are electricians"
After a few conversations with the "badboy" he went MIA for a few days, I just figured that he met someone or lost interest. I began talking to Chris more and more. One night we were on the phone until 2am without any weird awkward silences. The next night it was till 12:30am until my eyes were tearing from laughter and lack of sleep. I decided it was time for us to meet because I never like talking on the phone that much.
Plans were made to hang out the next night. We got dinner and a drink and then decided to go watch a movie at my house,he brought a few with him incase we were both tired (more like in case I decided to sleep with him, and for the record I didn't) We also talked about the usual stuff like, why we decided to try online dating and how long we had been on it. I mentioned I had only been on the site for a few weeks, and that he was the only one I had actully communicated with outside of email, but that I did email back and forth with a few people and exchanged numbers, but they never called.
So, while we were watching the movie we talked even more about life, and personal realtionships i.e. ex's and annoying family members and he mentioned how he had to fire his cousin the day before, because he wasn't doing his work and borrowing money all the time. Apparently his cousin Ricky was spending work time at the bar trying to hit on chicks and Chris found out because his cousin was stupid enough to call him from this place called Kegglers Den... (super dive bar)
Anyway, the next day at work i'm sitting at work when out of the blue I get a text from this random number. The message says "How's work going" I reply "good. you? who is this?" The reply, "I can't complain, work was slow, so I took the week off" "I again reply with "Who is this" the response "Its Ricky Martin" OMFG the light finally comes on. Ricky is Chris' scumbag cousin.
Needless to say I didn't respond to Ricky's text and when I told Chris that one of the other people who messaged me online was his cousin, he mentioned he wasn't surprised because his cousin and him have the same taste, but the situation was really weird. He even emailed me saying that he was done with Match for good... it was just to strange. I agreed, what are the odds that the only people I had a connection with from the stupid site are cousins....
Chris and I hung out one more time, but it was never quite the same, there was always this weird feeling, I almost felt like I cheated or something by talking to Ricky even though, I hadn't even met Chris yet... It was weird.
Note to self-remember to cancel match.com membership
First Strike - Francesca
Well, I think I got a taste of my own medicine. After months...wait...no...years of superiority of dates and judging them quickly, I finally got someone who hit first. I'm not exactly "picky" when it comes to who I'll go on a first date with. I'd like to think I'm picky with who I actually end up with, but many disagree....but that's another story entirely.
Anyway, I was shocked to meet Jimmy. He seemed interesting enough...kind of funny, really into music and travelling...on paper, he was great. My biggest reservation was that his photo has the d-bag tag...the vertical soul patch of a goatee...but whatever...a beer is just a beer, right? Well, as great as he seemed on paper...in person...wow. Okay, so his conversational skills were slightly lacking, and he had a lot of hangups about his ex...but man, was he gorgeous. Half sleeve tattoos, totally muscular, and he'd shaved the strip of hair that implied he was a douche. This is the kind of person that when you look at them, you kind of lose the ability to think rationally, and all you want to do is see them without the skintight tshirt. The kind of guy that takes me back to my dating skills of high school...nervous, scared, insecure...but man. He was hot. This date was two weeks ago, and I still drool a little when I think of just how hot he was. This is the kind of hotness that excuses the fact that he couldn't stop talking about his band from a decade ago, all of his 21-year-old ex girlfriends and his Jeep. I mean, the guy was 36, and looked 25. I am still losing a bit of control just thinking of him....wow. Anyway.
So, yeah, we hang, have a couple beers, talk...and I realize I'm so far out of my league. He's only into the tiny, blond and petite girls that get jobs as shot girls at bars. And I didn't care. All I knew was, I was on a date with the prettiest man I'd met online. It was that moment where I realized just how shallow I can be in the short term. I didn't care about his fairly obvious personality flaws...I just wanted more of him. I didn't care that he held the polar opposite views from me...all I cared about was that he was beautiful.
The thing that really gets me...I let him have the first right of refusal. Ordinarily, when I see someone as completely wrong for me as Jimmy, I cut out pretty early. I stick around just long enough to have a funny story to tell my friends...but...no. I let him have the joy of rejection. Within minutes, I'm guessing, I was listed in his phone as "Ignore" and he de-buddy listed me. It's cool. I do it all the time. But I was so blinded by his beauty that I was willing to let pretty much anything else go by. I finally understood how the guys I have been going on dates with feel, sitting across from someone they think is super hot, refusing to accept that they have nothing in common with that person...I could be totally wrong, but judging on my experience, I'm not that far off.
But I will live long into my cougar years remembering his beauty...man...was he hot. It's okay, darling, you don't have to talk. You can just sit there and be beautiful. *Sigh*
Anyway, I was shocked to meet Jimmy. He seemed interesting enough...kind of funny, really into music and travelling...on paper, he was great. My biggest reservation was that his photo has the d-bag tag...the vertical soul patch of a goatee...but whatever...a beer is just a beer, right? Well, as great as he seemed on paper...in person...wow. Okay, so his conversational skills were slightly lacking, and he had a lot of hangups about his ex...but man, was he gorgeous. Half sleeve tattoos, totally muscular, and he'd shaved the strip of hair that implied he was a douche. This is the kind of person that when you look at them, you kind of lose the ability to think rationally, and all you want to do is see them without the skintight tshirt. The kind of guy that takes me back to my dating skills of high school...nervous, scared, insecure...but man. He was hot. This date was two weeks ago, and I still drool a little when I think of just how hot he was. This is the kind of hotness that excuses the fact that he couldn't stop talking about his band from a decade ago, all of his 21-year-old ex girlfriends and his Jeep. I mean, the guy was 36, and looked 25. I am still losing a bit of control just thinking of him....wow. Anyway.
So, yeah, we hang, have a couple beers, talk...and I realize I'm so far out of my league. He's only into the tiny, blond and petite girls that get jobs as shot girls at bars. And I didn't care. All I knew was, I was on a date with the prettiest man I'd met online. It was that moment where I realized just how shallow I can be in the short term. I didn't care about his fairly obvious personality flaws...I just wanted more of him. I didn't care that he held the polar opposite views from me...all I cared about was that he was beautiful.
The thing that really gets me...I let him have the first right of refusal. Ordinarily, when I see someone as completely wrong for me as Jimmy, I cut out pretty early. I stick around just long enough to have a funny story to tell my friends...but...no. I let him have the joy of rejection. Within minutes, I'm guessing, I was listed in his phone as "Ignore" and he de-buddy listed me. It's cool. I do it all the time. But I was so blinded by his beauty that I was willing to let pretty much anything else go by. I finally understood how the guys I have been going on dates with feel, sitting across from someone they think is super hot, refusing to accept that they have nothing in common with that person...I could be totally wrong, but judging on my experience, I'm not that far off.
But I will live long into my cougar years remembering his beauty...man...was he hot. It's okay, darling, you don't have to talk. You can just sit there and be beautiful. *Sigh*
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Horrible Flashback - Francesca
This post would be completely unnecessary if people followed the following rules for casual dating, Internet style.
1. If you aren't into the other person-be up front about it. We all have different things we are into, and different things that we aren't into. You can click with someone via text, email or IM, but in person realize they are a transgendered midget, which is something you just can't align into your turnon column. That's fine....we all have our quirks, and I don't expect everyone to think I'm the cat's meow...this is the online dating age...let's not waste each other's time.
2. If you don't talk to someone for awhile, delete their number. I'm afflicted with ADD, and don't treat it with medicine. Therefore, I have a ridiculously short attention span. This translates to dating-you gotta keep my attention, or you're cast aside. I clear out my phone every other week to remove people I'm no longer talking to. (Seriously, around here, there are a million Ryans, Joes, and Anthonys...I can't keep my phone book straight). I think it's fair to assume that after a couple months, the opportunity has left the building, especially if rule #1 was followed.
3. I think this is the most important. If the other person is not into you, let it go. Don't assault them with questions why, don't try to convince them otherwise, don't promise to change. Seriously, if you have to change this much for a person you hardly know if you like, you have a lot of issues.
This brings me to last night. I was kicking back on the last night of date-free week (also known as my mom was in town), watching the benign Deal or No Deal and planning the rest of my week with potential dates. As I mentioned, mom was in town, so texting was the modis operandi.
Suddenly, I get a text from a number I don't recognize...after a bit of back and forth, I realize it's Tomas. The guy from a year ago that sent me about 500 text messages in 3 days and was a total douche. The one I was so happy to be rid of. The one who, like the ninja, refuses to go away...seriously...as soon as you think you're in the clear, he just pops out. This is how the conversation went:
Him: How have you been?
Me: Who is this?
Him: So, have you been well?
Me: Who is this?
Him: This is Tom...from Worcester
Me: How do I know you?
Him: I think we hung out like a yr ago...just found ur number and figure id see how u were (**Aside-I HATE text speak. I have one of those full keyboard phones, so I could be off the mark, but seriously? We're not 14. Spell the freaking words)
Me: Oh, you.
Him: I think I acted as a jerk a little...sorry
Me: A little? You were pretty bad
Him: Lol ya...I remmeber being buzzed and being rude
Me: I was pretty clear...I am not interested.
Him: Life's a lil diff now...didn't know if u wanted to grab a drink sometime...if ur single
Me: I am single...but you aren't what I was looking for then or now.
Him: Are you sure? You are missing out.
Okay...seriously? A year later? I followed Rule 1. He broke all the others. I don't know if it's my overly wide net for dating people (I'm a girl...a free beer is still a free beer) or if I let things get this bad to entertain others, but moments like this make me scream. If this is nothing but a public service announcement for others, please, understand, we only heckle you and get annoyed...these are not good associations. Oh well, on to more dates with new people...it can only get more interesting.
1. If you aren't into the other person-be up front about it. We all have different things we are into, and different things that we aren't into. You can click with someone via text, email or IM, but in person realize they are a transgendered midget, which is something you just can't align into your turnon column. That's fine....we all have our quirks, and I don't expect everyone to think I'm the cat's meow...this is the online dating age...let's not waste each other's time.
2. If you don't talk to someone for awhile, delete their number. I'm afflicted with ADD, and don't treat it with medicine. Therefore, I have a ridiculously short attention span. This translates to dating-you gotta keep my attention, or you're cast aside. I clear out my phone every other week to remove people I'm no longer talking to. (Seriously, around here, there are a million Ryans, Joes, and Anthonys...I can't keep my phone book straight). I think it's fair to assume that after a couple months, the opportunity has left the building, especially if rule #1 was followed.
3. I think this is the most important. If the other person is not into you, let it go. Don't assault them with questions why, don't try to convince them otherwise, don't promise to change. Seriously, if you have to change this much for a person you hardly know if you like, you have a lot of issues.
This brings me to last night. I was kicking back on the last night of date-free week (also known as my mom was in town), watching the benign Deal or No Deal and planning the rest of my week with potential dates. As I mentioned, mom was in town, so texting was the modis operandi.
Suddenly, I get a text from a number I don't recognize...after a bit of back and forth, I realize it's Tomas. The guy from a year ago that sent me about 500 text messages in 3 days and was a total douche. The one I was so happy to be rid of. The one who, like the ninja, refuses to go away...seriously...as soon as you think you're in the clear, he just pops out. This is how the conversation went:
Him: How have you been?
Me: Who is this?
Him: So, have you been well?
Me: Who is this?
Him: This is Tom...from Worcester
Me: How do I know you?
Him: I think we hung out like a yr ago...just found ur number and figure id see how u were (**Aside-I HATE text speak. I have one of those full keyboard phones, so I could be off the mark, but seriously? We're not 14. Spell the freaking words)
Me: Oh, you.
Him: I think I acted as a jerk a little...sorry
Me: A little? You were pretty bad
Him: Lol ya...I remmeber being buzzed and being rude
Me: I was pretty clear...I am not interested.
Him: Life's a lil diff now...didn't know if u wanted to grab a drink sometime...if ur single
Me: I am single...but you aren't what I was looking for then or now.
Him: Are you sure? You are missing out.
Okay...seriously? A year later? I followed Rule 1. He broke all the others. I don't know if it's my overly wide net for dating people (I'm a girl...a free beer is still a free beer) or if I let things get this bad to entertain others, but moments like this make me scream. If this is nothing but a public service announcement for others, please, understand, we only heckle you and get annoyed...these are not good associations. Oh well, on to more dates with new people...it can only get more interesting.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Scat Cat? - Francesca
***As an aside, I would like to thank the Cru Jones Society for their continued support and heckling of our terrible dates. If you want to see their commentaries about everything outside of dating (and they are much funnier), go to http://crujonessociety.com/***
So, after a stint in relationship land, I've decided to hit the market again. Now, I feel like I've exhausted my usual haunt of Craig's List, so I branch out to some other markets, namely Hot or Not. Yes, this is a dating site that doubles as a time waster. And I get to see how hot I am (6.7, but I think it's skewed). I start talking to a somewhat nice looking guy that seems interesting, and the normal things happen...we IM, we talk, we agree to meet. Our first date is pretty innocuous...we meet at a movie theatre minutes before the film, then I leave right after. No talking, no disappointment...actually, with my track record, this is the best first date I've had in awhile. If only it could have stayed there.
A few days later, I agree to meet Chad again...we decide to hang out and watch a movie in. I head over to his house, and it's not bad. The place is clean, doesn't smell, and is fairly nice for a dude living with a couple of roommates. I am eased into a state of complacency...I am no longer on guard. Lesson, ladies, NEVER fall off guard with people you have just started hanging out with or dating...you tend to let yourself fall into very awkward situations. Anyway, we were talking and hanging out before we decided which movie to watch...and the inevitable question of "what are you into" came up. Silly me, I was expecting movies, music...the usual. But he says he's into funny videos. "Oh, like on YouTube?" I question. Oh, no. That would be normal and fine. And I don't do normal and fine, apparently. He tries to explain...but he's not finding the words, so he offers to show me. Luckily, he has his computer hooked up to his large television in his living room. He navigates to a web page, and all of a sudden, the screen is filled with the image of a kitten. It isn't the standard picture of a cat, though...there's something all over it...something....no, it couldn't be. People don't like this kind of thing in reality. But yes, it is a cat, covered in shit. He's into scat. With animals. I turn to look at him with horror in my eyes...I mean, I'm pretty open minded, but I guess even I have limits. He has a sparkle in his eye and a smile as he looks at the photo. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. Dear lord, I am doomed, but the rest of the world can revel in my dating misery.
So, after a stint in relationship land, I've decided to hit the market again. Now, I feel like I've exhausted my usual haunt of Craig's List, so I branch out to some other markets, namely Hot or Not. Yes, this is a dating site that doubles as a time waster. And I get to see how hot I am (6.7, but I think it's skewed). I start talking to a somewhat nice looking guy that seems interesting, and the normal things happen...we IM, we talk, we agree to meet. Our first date is pretty innocuous...we meet at a movie theatre minutes before the film, then I leave right after. No talking, no disappointment...actually, with my track record, this is the best first date I've had in awhile. If only it could have stayed there.
A few days later, I agree to meet Chad again...we decide to hang out and watch a movie in. I head over to his house, and it's not bad. The place is clean, doesn't smell, and is fairly nice for a dude living with a couple of roommates. I am eased into a state of complacency...I am no longer on guard. Lesson, ladies, NEVER fall off guard with people you have just started hanging out with or dating...you tend to let yourself fall into very awkward situations. Anyway, we were talking and hanging out before we decided which movie to watch...and the inevitable question of "what are you into" came up. Silly me, I was expecting movies, music...the usual. But he says he's into funny videos. "Oh, like on YouTube?" I question. Oh, no. That would be normal and fine. And I don't do normal and fine, apparently. He tries to explain...but he's not finding the words, so he offers to show me. Luckily, he has his computer hooked up to his large television in his living room. He navigates to a web page, and all of a sudden, the screen is filled with the image of a kitten. It isn't the standard picture of a cat, though...there's something all over it...something....no, it couldn't be. People don't like this kind of thing in reality. But yes, it is a cat, covered in shit. He's into scat. With animals. I turn to look at him with horror in my eyes...I mean, I'm pretty open minded, but I guess even I have limits. He has a sparkle in his eye and a smile as he looks at the photo. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. Dear lord, I am doomed, but the rest of the world can revel in my dating misery.
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