Scat Cat? - Francesca

***As an aside, I would like to thank the Cru Jones Society for their continued support and heckling of our terrible dates. If you want to see their commentaries about everything outside of dating (and they are much funnier), go to http://crujonessociety.com/***

So, after a stint in relationship land, I've decided to hit the market again. Now, I feel like I've exhausted my usual haunt of Craig's List, so I branch out to some other markets, namely Hot or Not. Yes, this is a dating site that doubles as a time waster. And I get to see how hot I am (6.7, but I think it's skewed). I start talking to a somewhat nice looking guy that seems interesting, and the normal things happen...we IM, we talk, we agree to meet. Our first date is pretty innocuous...we meet at a movie theatre minutes before the film, then I leave right after. No talking, no disappointment...actually, with my track record, this is the best first date I've had in awhile. If only it could have stayed there.

A few days later, I agree to meet Chad again...we decide to hang out and watch a movie in. I head over to his house, and it's not bad. The place is clean, doesn't smell, and is fairly nice for a dude living with a couple of roommates. I am eased into a state of complacency...I am no longer on guard. Lesson, ladies, NEVER fall off guard with people you have just started hanging out with or dating...you tend to let yourself fall into very awkward situations. Anyway, we were talking and hanging out before we decided which movie to watch...and the inevitable question of "what are you into" came up. Silly me, I was expecting movies, music...the usual. But he says he's into funny videos. "Oh, like on YouTube?" I question. Oh, no. That would be normal and fine. And I don't do normal and fine, apparently. He tries to explain...but he's not finding the words, so he offers to show me. Luckily, he has his computer hooked up to his large television in his living room. He navigates to a web page, and all of a sudden, the screen is filled with the image of a kitten. It isn't the standard picture of a cat, though...there's something all over it...something....no, it couldn't be. People don't like this kind of thing in reality. But yes, it is a cat, covered in shit. He's into scat. With animals. I turn to look at him with horror in my eyes...I mean, I'm pretty open minded, but I guess even I have limits. He has a sparkle in his eye and a smile as he looks at the photo. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. Dear lord, I am doomed, but the rest of the world can revel in my dating misery.