Never Date Your Neighbor's Friends - Francesca

I had recently moved into a new multi-family house, and had some really cool housemates. They were young, and always invited me to their cookouts. I'd gone to a few of their parties, but I'd been dating someone during that time. It was days after getting out of an intense relationship when they invited me to another rager. I needed to let loose, so I was excited. I usually had a pretty good time, so I immediately accepted. Now, from my history, I can get slightly crazy when I'm just out of a relationship, so I was going to try to take it easy. Yeah, right. Now, I'm normally an outgoing person, and when I am in crazy party mode, I become friends with everyone. I was hanging out having a few, and started talking to Mark, a friend of my neighbor/landlord. We were having a great conversation, and moved it to the lower balcony when some people at the party decided to yell their rants to the world. I was really enjoying Mark's company, and after a few drinks, he was starting to look okay to me. The night began to wind down, and I was tired of getting attacked by mosquitoes, so we went inside to keep talking and drinking. The more I drank, the more attractive he got. We reached the inevitable point where he leaned in for a kiss. I know we'd been drinking all night, but if you want to make a move like that, you may want to prep with a piece of gum, a breath mint...anything to mask the fact that you have been drinking, smoking, and eating some form of rotting garbage. But it wasn't just his breath...he was a horrible kisser. Now, I'll give him a pass on the lack of talent, as we had been drinking for about six hours. But these things combined with the recent breakup made me really not want to continue kissing him. I sent him on his way, knowing that although he was too drunk to drive, my neighbor had a couch with his name on it.

This is where the story got interesting. I have a lot of guy friends, and I know they sometimes like to elaborate on their hookups. I hadn't even considered the consequences of such a thing at the time. I suddenly noticed that my neighbor was acting weird towards me, looking at me with a smirk and not really talking to me anymore. After some prodding with his girlfriend, the truth came out. Mark had created a very elaborate story that he spread around as to what had happened. No big deal, I don't really care about it, but the awkwardness with my neighbor and landlord was something that did bother me. Not only that, but within days, Mark had been hired on at the local liquor store, which I go to a bit...and his schedule was whenever I was thirsty. I tried to shake up the times I'd go in, but he was always there. I still don't know how to tell him he was as terrible a kisser as the Mormons in high school, with breath that would make anyone run away screaming. The awkwardness eventually wore off, but I have learned that I will never try to date a landlord's friend, especially if they're your neighbor, because you'll never escape the memory of a failed adventure.